Last updated on 2/14/2023
It’s the only kind of wood that’ll do you any good.
Well, after I went trigger-happy with the new chain saw and cut down every deciduous life-form in my back yard, I had to face the consequences. Namely, a great huge stack o’ firewood.
The stuff’s been piling up for a couple years now. Unlike wine and cheese, firewood does not improve with age — after about a year, it starts to get either over-dry (burns up in 2 minutes) or just plain rotten (smolders & smokes heavily, great for curing ham & sausage but not a peak domestic experience).
What we used to do with this stuff when I lived in the country was make a 10-ft. tall pyramid that’d burn for days. Can’t do that here in town — the neighbor tried it once and the fire dept. was there inside of 10 minutes.
So I’m tryin’ to burn it up a little at a time in the fireplace, but that is sure slow going. Schlep the wood, split the kindling, dry the wood, swing the old axe… I’m startin’ to feel like Abe Lincoln. It is an outlet for the hidden pyromaniac side of me, though. Burn, burn, BURN!! YEAH!!
Ah, where was I? Oh… Winter’s almost over now and I STILL got too much of this stuff laying around. I know it won’t be any good next winter — what am I gonna DO with all this?
If I could e-mail it, I’d send everyone a big armload right now. Maybe that wouldn’t work, though. You might send me back something you didn’t want, like your compost pile or a truckload of manure. I could put it out with the rubbish a little at a time, but that’d take longer than it took the trees to grow in the first place. I COULD dump it all on the undeveloped property behind us when no one was looking, but that’d be littering, wouldn’t it?
So what should I do with this surplus wood? I know you all will be good for a couple ideas.
Call me… smokey
There’s people who can help with that.