Last updated on 2/14/2023
Oh dear, has it been another whole year already?
Time for the Spring Fever Issue again. It is good to have the seasons to remind us when there is something important we must do. Rather like a slow-motion alarm clock.
Spring is Mr Samuel’s favorite time of year. He finds himself seduced again and again by the promise of new growth and a fresh start, despite millennia of human evidence to the contrary. FFFT! He cares not! Let us begin again.
As we all learned in our tortured youth, the eccentricity (a concept with which Mr Samuel is very familiar indeed) of the earth’s orbit finds our northern hemisphere facing our nearest thermonuclear neighbor, aka the sun, more directly at this time of the year. Inevitable consequences of this astronomical trivia include: regeneration of many plant species, both decorative and crabgrass; renewed interest in mating behaviors; and last but certainly not least, the sad end of orchestra season and the wild hopes of a new baseball season.
Mr Samuel adores flowers! Irises, roses, lilies, even the humble daisies are all on his list of favorite things. You may send them via FTD or personal delivery — he will thank you most sincerely. However, he abhors crabgrass and sweetpeas, two species which once established are apparently PERMANENT FOREVERMORE. If modern scientists want to create an immortal and inextinguishable super-human, they need merely splice the crabgrass gene into our DNA.
Mating behavior is another ongoing interest of Mr Samuel’s, as evidenced by his MWC status. Needless to say, he must resist the impulses which surge forth every spring or he will soon be DWC. Strange what a little sunlight can do. This year finds him sublimating the random procreation instinct by observing closely the migration of salamanders. These spotted little suckers move and mate en masse through woods and pools and puddles at this time of year. They look to be having considerably more fun than himself.
And farewell to his beloved Cleveland Orchestra… it has been a full and memorable musical season. Remember, like the apple orchards in New Zealand, they will bloom again in fall. But BASEBALL! At last! is back on the horizon. For one who has the athletic ability of a stump, Mr Samuel’s fascination with the sport might seem odd. Picture it as a form of meditation, or a chess game with beer, however, and you may come close to understanding it the way he does. Join hands with him and pray for some pitching to materialize. Could THIS be the year for those Wahoos?
Life is good at this phase of the planetary cycle! Enjoy!
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