A Public Service Announcement

Last updated on 1/29/2023

By far the most-anticipated part of Mr Samuel’s day is lunchtime.  Working in the city center means there is a whole hour to jet out of the office and decompress by wandering around.  The magic of lunch is that it cuts an overwhelming eight hours of deadline stress into two slightly saner four-hour blocks.  His range is from Public Square to Playhouse Square, north to chilly Lake Erie and back up the tornado alley that is E. 9th St.

His favorite place to people-watch is in the brass-and-glass Old Arcade.  Some days he steps across Superior Avenue and gets lost in the Public Library.  There are dozens of little lunch counters in the area, food carts if you dare, and fast food galore.  If he is lucky, there is a parade or a high school jazz band blowing up a storm. Sometimes a literal storm blows in while he is out and umbrellas go flying through the air. Some days he just walks and takes notes on the sidewalk scene.  Once in a while, something happens…

In order to help you avoid any unnecessary unpleasantness in the middle of your day, Mr Samuel has compiled the following public service announcement from excruciating personal experience. If he can save a single boomer from embarassment or frustration (or arrest!), it will have been worth the effort.

Forthwith:

1. Braunschweiger
2. Liver & onions
3. Raw onion or garlic
4. Mixing chili & beer
5. Eating spaghetti while wearing white shirt
6. Mixing beer & wine
7. Getting caught window-shopping at the adult toy store
8. Mixing beer, wine & hard liquor
9. Following mini-skirt more than 2 blocks
10. Feeding pigeons in front of McDonald’s
11. Trying to converse with owner of Chinese restaurant
12. Inquiring about status of order in any establishment where order totals less than $5
13. Trying to get “fast” haircut because the shop isn’t busy