Last updated on 1/29/2023
When my latest car quest had me searching deliriously through hot and dusty used-car lots recently, I fell into a rather nasty automotive-type hallucination which, naturally enough, I decided to share with everyone.
I needed new wheels. Bad. So I set out on my Quest in a Gran Fury. Intrepidly I scoured the Horizon, like an Eagle on Safari. I looked on Fifth Avenue, then Colony Park, then Park Avenue — I searched Town & Country. I was a Charger, a rambunctious Colt, a free Spirit, a Samurai Thunderbird in my Intrepid Quest for that perfect Custom Cruiser.
Then, in a Vision, I saw it! Justy what I was lookin’ for — a Regal and Imperial, but still Reliant, Road Master. It shone in the Sundance like a sparkling Diamante, Eclipsing alla the other automotive Charades in its Shadow. I knew I had to have this Supra Trooper for my very own Sportwagon. It wuz so beautiful, on an Impulse I Swiftly took out my Camry and made some pix of my Loyale Sidekick (who looks like a Starlet, btw) standing beside it.
Then came the ugly part — I hadda make a DL with the Galant-lookin’ salesman, who was undoubtedly a Graduate of Foxy Spider sales school. “Amigo!” he Acclaimed me in a Cavalier manner, “SC if we can SL you a car today!” What a Brat! I knew I had a Rocky Rodeo in front of me.
“Hm, I dunno,” I said, Starion him right in the eye. “MR2 bad tires on that thing and the Vipers don’t work — I might just Passat up.”
Swift as a Rabbit, he had his Talons out, ready to Escort me into the back room and work me over. “I know we can make the Supra DL of the Century,” he said Cordia-lly. “What’ll you give me – 9000? 8000?”
“Eighty-Eight,” sez I Vigorously, “not a penny more!”
“WHAT?!?!” Deville-ain Stormed, “You’d take food right outta LeMans mouth! But… LeBaron says I’m under quota, so I-Mark it sold.”
And that, Loyale Quadrifoglios, is the real Scoupe on the Legend of the Country Squire’s Conquest over the Stylus New Yorker car salesman.
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